Stress. (borrowed the first sentence from Becky Galicha) I’ve been hearing this word a lot lately and sometimes, it even comes out of my mouth. Well, actually, I think I made a life out of it myself.
People thought I handle stress pretty well. What they don’t know is that cats and dogs are running inside my head most of the time. Outlet equals paranoia
plus moodiness. Or at least that’s the way I would call it. I always assume that people are mad at me in one way or another, hmmm, by overanalyzing gestures. Meanwhile, when everything is too hard on me, I tend not to treat other people justly. I could just remember my ex-dormmate Barnet talking how my roommates tolerate my mood swings. When it does its act, it would mean me filtering what I hear and what I see. Snob would describe that alter ego best. By the way, a Facebook quiz diagnosed me of schizophrenia.
Unclutter my life. That is the mission I have to deal with right now. I did a lot of meditation, again (got Danny Gokey right there for the second time). I felt like I make my burden lighter by making things a little less annoying. Makes sense, right? I could just remember the time I came back at home (after a long long while) after last semester, I felt disoriented. I was alienated at my own home. There were piles of everything everywhere. I tried to put things the way I wanted them to be organized but that caused small fights. Finally, I found refuge in this very spot, in front of my PC. I almost spent my 24/7 right here for the past month now. Today is a big leap! I wanted to achieve something and I got it! From 75 Yahoo! Groups, I cut them down to 33!! Maybe not a lot of progress, but at least, I’m getting there! Fwahahah!
Me, myself and I is a mess. I sleep at night frustrated and open my eyes in the morning with nothing changed. Anyway, I have to live with it, like I have any choice. Now that I am 21, I have to make every decision smart and today, I will start to unclutter the mess I did to my life. Or at least, I could try, right?