My Life Is Broken Into Two

Huhuh! Huhuhuh! I just came back from my weekly dose of badminton, and guess what? I think I overdid it a little... My racket is cut into half!! It was one last smash, then it said its goodbye to me. Huwaaaay?! Huwaaay!?!?!

*Babay Carlton!*

*Mukhang kelangan ka na paltan! Pero ala pa ko pera... >.<*

I was planning to change its string. Good thing, I didn't. It would have been put to waste, because it is useless now. Somebody give me a racket!! Heheheh! Well, it was not because I hit so hard, its just that it is time for my Carlton, haha! That is how Ate Leslie put it, haha! Rest in peace, my racket. But hell, I can't live without badminton, somebody, I beg you whoever you are, give me a new racket! Hahaha! I can't live without badminton!!

Jeepneys Plus Air Conditioning

One time, Hannah and I were on our way to work at Commonwealth when we saw a jeep that is enclosed. Windows and doors not open. I was intrigued, so intrigued I convinced Hannah we ride on it to work. Convincing her was a challenge, but my curiosity didn't give up.

Yahoo! I was amazed. I let out the child in me again. Hahahah! It even had a TV - the more amazed I became. It was clean and all. Oh so neat! But then again, it is pretentious.

*Hannah on tantrums for riding the jeep*

*TV and Air Con for the amazement*

*Took a photo of the jeep while waiting for Hannah to come out*

It still is a jeepney, a jeepney that is trying to be something else? Like a bus? Why would passengers choose to ride this aircon-ed jeep instead of an aircon-ed bus? (Well, except all that curiosity). Our ride to work would cost P8.00 on a regular jeepney and P11.00 on an aircon-ed bus. Guess how much we payed. P15.00!! The air conditioning and the TV just increased the overhead cost. Its not something to be happy about after all.

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@ RANDOM:

Jeepneys I think is one manifestation of how culture can affect development. Click here and read this thread from PEYUPS. I would like to end this entry with this response from the link:

"Jeepneys are inefficient: they have less passengers per unit area compared to buses, and they consume more fuel than other forms of public transportation. Also, since their engines are less efficient, they emit more air pollutants.

Phase out jeepneys and there will be less congestion in Metro Manila's streets. However, alternatives should be in place and those jeepney drivers would have to have other jobs. I like the idea of a subway system."

-armas_nukleyar

-Peyups Legend

Unclutter

Stress. (borrowed the first sentence from Becky Galicha) I’ve been hearing this word a lot lately and sometimes, it even comes out of my mouth. Well, actually, I think I made a life out of it myself.

People thought I handle stress pretty well. What they don’t know is that cats and dogs are running inside my head most of the time. Outlet equals paranoia 

plus moodiness.  Or at least that’s the way I would call it. I always assume that people are mad at me in one way or another, hmmm, by overanalyzing gestures. Meanwhile, when everything is too hard on me, I tend not to treat other people justly. I could just remember my ex-dormmate Barnet talking how my roommates tolerate my mood swings. When it does its act, it would mean me filtering what I hear and what I see. Snob would describe that alter ego best. By the way, a Facebook quiz diagnosed me of schizophrenia.

Unclutter my life. That is the mission I have to deal with right now. I did a lot of meditation, again (got Danny Gokey right there for the second time). I felt like I make my burden lighter by making things a little less annoying. Makes sense, right? I could just remember the time I came back at home (after a long long while) after last semester, I felt disoriented. I was alienated at my own home. There were piles of everything everywhere. I tried to put things the way I wanted them to be organized but that caused small fights. Finally, I found refuge in this very spot, in front of my PC. I almost spent my 24/7 right here for the past month now. Today is a big leap! I wanted to achieve something and I got it! From 75 Yahoo! Groups, I cut them down to 33!! Maybe not a lot of progress, but at least, I’m getting there! Fwahahah!

Me, myself and I is a mess. I sleep at night frustrated and open my eyes in the morning with nothing changed. Anyway, I have to live with it, like I have any choice. Now that I am 21, I have to make every decision smart and today, I will start to unclutter the mess I did to my life. Or at least, I could try, right?

We Will Have A Doctor At Home

When we were young, the regular scenario in our home was a fight scene between my sister and me. Back then, I was way smaller than Ate. We would exchange pinches, punches and even slaps. At one point, I can remember that Mom gave us knives. Haha! Of course, we were afraid to get cut too, no slashing scenes! My apologies in disappointing you. Haha! We grew old. Petty fights are set aside. We grew mature. Fight scenes were ceased, we cuddle each other instead.

This Christmas break is all about family. I spent time with Ate. We talked a lot. We shared frustrations.

We will have a doctor at home. Ate graduated from BS Biology in UP Los Baños. She was all set to entering the medical field. She took NMAT and was able to enter UERM, one of the well-known med schools. The first three years were filled with sleepless nights studying – well, it seemed effortless, this was her thing. When we were together, she would boast jargons they use in med. She would scold people about their health, followed by a geeky explanation. We would end up drop jawed, or sometimes, pissed off (siya na ang doctor!).

So it came, fourth year med at UERM is spent for internships. Ate was excited. She bought everything needed as soon as she got hold of the list. Excitement wasn’t enough. We do know how much effort she put in preparation, but I guess it wasn’t enough for the real thing. I saw how she looked after months of internship. Stress. I never saw her like that. She was losing weight. She was losing appetite. She was losing composure. All the enthusiasm was drained out of her system. I am sure that her internship was definitely hard, knowing she was a strong person. I found tears roll from her eyes. I never saw her that way. A month later – she quit.

Getting out from UERM was not easy, but the days later were harder, I could tell. People can only torment her by why she quit – they didn’t know how it was. Torture! Physical plus emotional. They don’t know my sister. They go to that hell. After that, I will listen to them.

We will have a doctor at home. Give it less than a year.  She just had a little detour, but rest assured, we will have a doctor at home. This time, it is certain. This Christmas break made me see somebody that wants to prove something. She will cry no more.

I’m totally excited to that day! We will have a doctor at home.

Let me find you

It’s been a while. Things happened so fast that I didn’t have the time to write in this blog I am keeping. Being alone really made me realize many things, but among them, one thing sank in so much. I miss the man who didn’t think solely of himself. I miss the man who was in love with somebody. All the solitude made me feel cold all alone. No amount of friends could fill in to that loneliness.

I really wanna know what’s wrong with me. Why could I not work out a relationship?

I am proud that I had acted the way my head and heart told me, but all this thinking and feeling made me all alone now. I wish I could find a girl who’ll introduce me to that man I am missing now.

I don’t know why I am writing this entry but doing so lightened the weight on my chest. At least, even a bit. Listening to Jimmy Bondoc made me emotional all the more, haha!

Forever Losing

What I just lost doesn't hurt, but losing squeezes my heart.

I ran for Vice President for External Affairs in my organization. Before any ballot was filled up, i set my mind that whoever wins in the position, I will give out full support. I believe that all of us had proven worth for the spot. My mind was open that I may lose, but the news three hours ago made my heart throb faster. I forgot that I hate losing, and I think it goes for everybody. And this afternoon, the EEE 103 "Take Out Exam..." ...nah! just don't wanna talk about it. My losing streak seems to had made me numb. Ever since this year started, nothing goes out right - acads, extra-curricular, and even DOTA games - such a losing streak!

I wonder, do I have a capital letter "L" on my head? :'(

I would like to clarify, I'm not bitter for losing at the ERG Elections!
Wakokoko!! Ako pa!
CONGRATULATIONS NINA LAT! You own my support!!
GO EXTE!! 1-2-3! ERG FIGHT!!

Loser or not?

Huhuhu! Will I pass ME 63?! I just can't get over this dilemma! To pass the exam average, I have to get 90 percent in each of the two remaining exams! It just won't stop reiterating in my mind! And tomorrow is another judgement day! Hahaha! 3rd examinations in this subject will surely ruin my day tomorrow!

Just joined a videoke singing contest yesterday in the dormitory, and I lost! Awww! I'm one big loser this semester! What's happenning to me!?!?! Help me!!