Somebody at work asked me yesterday, "Gaano ka na katagal single?" - I felt the need to respond immediately, so, in a few seconds, I said "Dalawa." I really didn't know how long already, but one thing is for sure, its longer than 2 freaking years. I guess I haven't moved on completely, unlike the other half of the story, who seemed like totally over it, with another guy.
Somebody might curse me by telling this story, but it wouldn't matter - that person already dug where my coffin is gonna be buried. Here goes... I was the one who broke up with my last girlfriend, my first and last to be exact (but please, let me have my next!). Everything was totally okay before I said those hurtful words, as everybody would say. Except me. I simply fell out of love - mushy or cheezy as it may sound, but that is how I felt about it. I could not recall the reasons why I loved her. All that's left were compromises that I did to make her happy - to the point that she didn't notice that something was broken in me. One day, I just woke up and decided that, I ain't fooling anybody anymore, especially myself. Tears fell, and the rest was history.
For crying out loud, I certainly am not over it all. I just feel guilty about it. I want to find that person that will make it all work out. And by thinking about it, I end up not finding that perfect match, if it does exist. Maybe it really just doesn't exist. Maybe its all about taking chances, but I really ain't part of that religion yet. I'm afraid to make a mistake and hurt somebody out of that mistake. I'm a good boy after all, or is it some piece of shit!
Somebody is what I need, but it turns out, that somebody I'm thinking about, already has somebody thinking about her. What do i do? I feel like this is karma for breaking somebody's heart. I had my fair share of crushes, but soon after getting along with them, I find out, they are already committed or in some budding relationship. Happened not just twice or thrice - I already lost count. Will I grow old alone? I have a target to have kids by 30, but by how things are going, I would have adjust some figures in my plan, hahah!